Uncategorized19 December 2009 10:39 pm

What’s coming up next week?

Just remind me, what’s happening next week? The kids keep hinting but I can’t for the life of me remember what’s so special about December.

Alright, yes I can. Just. Most days I struggle to remember what I had for breakfast, and when to go to the toilet – thinking ahead to next week is a real challenge.

But Christmas comes just once a year, and bloody good thing too. It’s crept up on me like the smell of an old flatulent dog, and with just a few days to go I’ve done diddly squat. No Christmas cake being administered with brandy, no Christmas Club money to collect having been sequestered all year, and worst of all, no clue as to what to get anyone.

Where to start?

Books are always good, and bookshops are one of my favourite places. These days bookshops sell much more than books, so if your clan is literarily or musically inclined, or likes electronic and other games, stationery, or just kinda cool gadgets, a bookshop is a good destination. If you can’t get out, try the world’s leading online bookshop, Amazon.

If the love of your life is a bit of a geek, USB gifts and gadgets are a fun idea. There is an amazing array of stuff that can be attached to your PC, other than your teenage son, of course.

There are great lists of gifts for women, from the one I would like – a slanket (yes indeed, even though the name reminds me of a slinky, which is the skin of a dead lamb) – to some I may not crack a smile at (elephant poo in a box, which is probably only marginally better than elephant poo on my shoe).

If the man in your life is the adventurous type, he might like something from this selection of gifts for men. Clay pigeon shooting, driving couches and other wacky cars, or gourmet cooking lessons, there’s sure to be something he’ll love, that won’t injure him and might benefit you too.

And of course, don’t forget the kids. As if they’d let you. Want a change from built-to-crap-out-before-New-Year, plastic-fantastic, form-over-substance junk? Take a look at these Christmas presents for kids.

So, don’t panic. Don’t despair. There is help. Just down a couple of large G&Ts, charge up the credit card, and hit the internet.

Comments (0)
Uncategorized16 December 2009 12:12 am

New Zealand wedding photo shoot

Want to do something different for your wedding photos? Asian couples have thought up a way to impress their friends.

Couples from Singapore and Taiwan are travelling to New Zealand for a wedding photo shoot. The photos are then presented at the wedding to provide an unusual feature.

A lack of distinctive locations, lower air fares, and the influence of Lord of the Rings have contributed to an 80% increase in couples travelling to New Zealand. For many of them, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and they are keen to spare no expense to make it perfect.

Popular locations are the Bay of Islands, Lake Taupo, Lake Tekapo and Queenstown.

Couples can spend anywhere from NZ$20,000 (£8,800), choosing to stay in good hotels and hire rental vehicles to travel and look around. Around 40% of this is spent on the fees and air fares for the couple’s photographer and stylist.

Of course, there are extremely good photographers and stylists in New Zealand also.


Aoraki Mt Cook

Thanks to the Wedding Company for this stunning photo of Aoraki Mt Cook.

Comments (0)
Uncategorized6 December 2009 6:15 am

The sad state of NZ cricket

As the rain pours down I am forced to reflect on the sad state of New Zealand as a test playing nation.

We have just lost the second test against a less than awe inspiring Pakistan lineup, who we restricted to 264 and 239 in their two innings. Not a huge mountain to ascend, one would think, until one realises that NZ made just 99 runs in their first innings. Oh dear.

Kiwis are dogged battlers, and we have occasionally pulled off miracles, so when Vettori et al went after a total of 405 in the last innings, with more than two days left to bat, it looked remotely possible. If only the top order could occupy their crease and achieve reasonable totals. Just one 100, three or four 50s, and a few more in double figures. But above all, to stay there and bat out. We might have done it. There was nothing in the pitch, a batsman’s paradise, the commentators were saying.

But no. The opening partnership was broken in the second over with four runs on the board. The other opener survived 12 more overs. Number 3 gone just two overs later. Three of our four (allegedly) best batsmen gone in less than 20 overs, for less than 50 runs. Ross Taylor played a patient innings until he began to run out of recognised partners, then a stray shot had him caught on 97. Frustrating for Taylor, disaster for New Zealand.

Yes, we almost got one 100. And there was one 40, which is nearly 50, but this was by the number 8 (Vettori). And not a lot else. Mostly what were we lacking was partnerships. There was only one in excess of 50 (the 6th wicket). Three over 30, and one of those was the 9th wicket. The opening three partnerships netted only 37 runs. Our 3rd wicket (which should have been our best two batsmen) contributed one run. I feel like tearing my hair.

So the question is –  do we have enough batsmen to make up a top order? Sadly, I think the answer is no. The best partnership was between Ross Taylor (number 4) and Brendon McCullum (number 7). Our second-top scorer was Vettori, who batted at 8. And there really isn’t anyone else worth mentioning. That leaves five empty batting spaces (given that our four best bowlers, who did a good job, include Vettori, and there may be a case for Elliot, as he can bowl a bit). But I’m afraid Messers McIntosh, Guptil, Flynn, and Fulton probably need to brush up their CVs. Because they sure ain’t doing the job as top order batsmen.

Daniel Vettori was quoted as saying yesterday, when NZ was three down after one session and had 330 or so runs to chase, “It’s going to be difficult. We are under no illusions that it’s a long way but we just have to believe.”

No Dan, I’m afraid that’s not enough. That might work for the Disney Corporation, but for international top order batsmen, they actually have to be able to bat.

Postscript: to add insult to injury, it began to rain just minutes after the fall of the final NZ wicket, and has continued to rain since. If tomorrow is rainy, we may have been able to burgle a draw, if only someone had stayed in.

Comments (0)
Uncategorized2 December 2009 11:32 pm

Home office energy use

Individually, something like a desktop computer or a printer use small amounts of electricity, compared to, for example, a 3 kilowatt heater. But taken together, your home office equipment may well be impacting your electricity bill.

A typical home office might have the following:

  • Desktop computer comprising CPU and monitor, plus keyboard and mouse, maybe speakers
  • Laptop(s)
  • Printer
  • Fax machine
  • Telephone(s)

Computers
Back in the old days of mainframes, it was better to leave the central processing unit on all the time, as the thermal cycling at start-up was a common cause of disk failure. That’s no longer the case, and it’s not necessary to leave your CPU on constantly. Switching it off when it’s not in use, particularly overnight, saves electricity and also protects your equipment from electrical surges.

Likewise monitors should be switched off when not in use. Screen savers do save screens, but not electricity. Flying windows use up about as much power as word processing.

If you use a CPU as a server, you will need to leave it on while any of your satellite units (laptops etc) are operating. But maybe it’s a good night-time routine to shut down all the laptops, turn off the server monitor, and put the CPU to bed.

Printers and Fax machines
Laser printers use about a third of their power supply when on standby. So for a printer capable of printing 8 pages per minutes, you could save about 100 watts an hour.

The fax machine may need to stay on to receive, so if you have a combination printer/fax/copier, you may not want to switch it off. If you receive faxes electronically, you’ll also need to leave the CPU on, though the monitor can still go off.

Telephones

Cordless phones use electricity all the time. About 60% of a cordless phone’s energy usage is while it’s in standby mode. A corded phone uses just a trickle, and that comes from the phone line. If you want the convenience of a cordless phone, consider having just one, and using corded phones in other areas.

Comments (0)
Uncategorized17 November 2009 10:30 pm

Walls of green

Imagine preserving our natural environment by bringing the outdoors in. I found an article in the paper today about a hair salon that has a living wall of green. It seems a wonderful idea – incorporating nature into our indoor spaces. One could take it further and integrate indoor and outdoor spaces. Perhaps this is just further human interference in the natural order of things, or maybe it’s a way that we as a species can enhance our lives without destroying our environment.

Regardless, I would love to recline in comfort, having my hair washed in warm water, my scalp massaged, and be gazing up at a wall of soft, green mosses and epiphytes. Perhaps listening to a little piped tui song, or better yet, to be in earshot of a nearby open courtyard where the tuis and other native birds gather to sip nectar and banter their beautiful sounds at each other in raucous abandon.

 green wall

Comments (0)
Uncategorized11 November 2009 9:04 pm

Telephones and telecoms

The current texting revolution is an interesting one. My daughter, recently turned 12, had a mobile for a while but couldn’t control her texting habits, so had it taken away. This didn’t bother her one bit. In fact, she said she was pleased to be out of the texting world. But some of her peers would wither and die if they didn’t have their mobiles.

Historically, the government has provided the phone systems as part of the national infrastructure. These government departments were eventually privatised into the monoliths of today’s telecommunications world – in New Zealand, Telecom, in the UK, British Telecom, or BT.

Not only did these companies provide and manage the infrastructure of the telephone system, they also got into the business of providing the telephone instruments. When telephones were still relatively expensive, the national provider would rent out phones to residential customers. This sometimes went on unnoticed for a good length of time. My partner discovered he had been renting a Telecom home phone for about eight years. He could have bought a very nice mobile phone for what he had paid. There might still be some BT home phones lurking out there, adding a small but significant amount to your monthly phone bill.

But the telecommunications landscape is changing. Obviously traditional, fixed line telephone systems are here to stay for a while yet, because anything where there is significant investment by business doesn’t get replaced overnight. But telecoms means much more than just telephones these days, as is obvious when you look at what the telcos get involved in. The mobile phone revolution has taken phones away from a set physical location and the advent of texting must be a bit like printing money for the telcos.

But of course, the big change in communication technology is the internet. This puts the concept of ‘phone’ into sharp relief, because a phone is just a handset – it’s the technology behind it that’s interesting. The telephone system is now much more than a technological extension of the piece of string between two tin cans. Now the handset or the computer (is this just another type of handset?) can broadcast to sites like Twitter and other bulletin boards. Everyone can commentate on what they’re doing right now and what they’re thinking. Communication is much more one-way – I’ll put out there what I’m doing and thinking, and you come along at your convenience and read up about it. Not so much conversation as a bunch of monologues with everyone talking and no-one listening.

We can spice up our pearls of wisdom (hey, what am I doing, but putting a whole lot of opinions ‘out there’, with no real care as to whether anyone reads them or not?) with bright images and streaming video, which of course increases our need for bandwidth, hence the forward movement in broadband technology (SDSL internet etc).

So, it is a changing world we live in. The way we interact is changing. We call it communication technology, but if I recall correctly, communication is a two-way thing. Maybe we should call it broadcast technology.

Comments (0)
Uncategorized20 October 2009 10:53 pm

Being rude about our national game

Alas, my poor readers, you’ve had to fare for weeks without the benefit of my witticisms and insightful comment. But have no fear. Because I’m back.

And I’m chuckling about an article that dares to poke the borax at New Zealand’s best loved institution – the All Blacks! How dare they? Well, they do dare, and good on them.

Since Graham Henry and co. took over the All Blacks in 2004, it seems to me they have drawn towards the soccer model of ‘prima donna’, ‘touch me and I fall down in agony’, rather than the traditional rugby union model of ‘gritty bloke in a black singlet, tough as old boots, plays in a stinging southerly (cold in NZ) with two dislocated shoulders and then heads out to the back blocks of the farm with a roll of no. 8 wire ready to get up to his elbows in birthing lambs’. Argh, those days be gone (OK, not sure where the ‘talk like a pirate’ vernacular crept in from).

Nowadays, the All Blacks LOSE! And they don’t seem to CARE! That never happened before. When they lost in the past, it was after epic battles against monumental sides whose forwards had tree trunks for legs and whose backs could give Usain Bolt a run for his money. The country went into mourning, players hung their heads in shame, and the media flayed the management alive.

Today, the ‘teflon trio’, as described in the amusing article in today’s paper, smile and talk weasel words about team bonding and the like, while faffing about trying to figure out how to coach, impart knowledge, and somehow enable the team to play well and win. The latest move is that they will all swop out of their ‘expert’ roles and do each other’s jobs.

Hmm, not sure how that will improve things.

Comments (0)